3 Mistakes People often make when building Confidence

This post will reveal the top 3 mistakes that people (just like me) make when looking to build their Confidence.

After my recent posts 15 things you never knew about confidence coaching and how I got to be teaching calm confidence breakthroughs today, I thought it would be useful next to look at the top 3 mistakes I see people (just like me) make when building confidence. These are mistakes that I have made and only realised how they weren't effective for me until after trial and error. When considering mistakes, remember that you only know what you know.

We are all human and we all make mistakes. In fact mistakes lead to progress and new opportunities. Think of Thomas A. Edison who explained "I didn't fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps." So give yourself grace and celebrate that mistakes signal progress. And know that moving forwards with your confidence is going to be far smoother now that you are supported with the knowledge of these 3 easy mistakes.


1) Why faking confidence before you have it can be a mistake.

I'm sure you've come across the advice "Fake it before you make it." Which on the surface it seems like a simple way to start the process of creating confidence. However it can cause a few difficulties of it's own by giving you conflicting feelings to deal with of being and not being confident. Plus of course it doesn't solve the underlying issue as to why your confidence is not as strong as you'd like it to be.


How faking confidence can cause more harm than good: 

i) Firstly our unconscious mind takes things literally so when you say that you are faking confidence you are confirming to yourself that you're not confident.

ii) Secondly faking confidence can be exhausting as you're using more energy in already stressful situations (where you currently feel unconfident).

iii) Finally if you sometimes act confident and sometimes don't it's very easy to appear inconsistent to both yourself and others. People have a wonderful ability to see through an act and often prefer you to be open and honest about your feelings rather than pretending their not there. 


Now there are ways to use positive visualisation to support you as you clear away any old negative doubts about your old lack of confidence. And it will be my absolute honour and privilege to support you with this. So that you too will have the skills to create your own calm confidence and maintain it throughout your life.


2) How pushing yourself to be Confident when you're not ready doesn't work

Rolling a heavy ball uphill is exhausting work. The truth is that pushing yourself too hard and too fast when you're not ready to make the changes underneath your lack of confidence won't work well. You'll at best add to your stress and discomfort and at worst make the negative emotions and beliefs beneath your lack of confidence deeper. With each negative experience your feelings stack up and can leave you with a bigger amount of limiting beliefs and emotional baggage to clear up.  


Of course there are processes that we can use to clear away any old negative emotions, events and decisions from your past fast. So that you can build your own confidence easily and effortlessly with support and guidance. It is my pleasure to be able to share these secrets with you as you take the next step forwards into the confidence that you desire and deserve to enjoy everyday.


3) How self confidence is not the same as someone else having confidence in You

It's amazing when others have confidence in you but it's your inner trust that counts the highest for your self confidence. Our minds take things absolutely personally. So to be truly confident you get to see yourself as being confident. Just believing that someone else thinks you're good enough is not strong enough to breakthrough your own doubts fully. 

The true sign of confidence is when you know that you are totally and utterly good enough within your own mind. And here's a secret I know that you most definitely are completely and utterly wonderfully good enough.  So Congratulations for investing your time with me here to learn about the top 3 mistakes I see when people start to build confidence. 

If you're ready to move forwards with my support then take a look at the calm confidence 3 day breakthrough experience here.

With so much gratitude for you exactly as you are right now,

Liz xx

Liz Clifton

Your Calm Confidence Crusader