Thank you for joining me your host Liz Clifton and my wonderful take34u Self Care Series: Creating Calm Confidence Guest Jane Maffey as we share selfcare secrets, top tips and stories of our experiences.

It's an absolute pleasure to support you with your own self-care journey as you take34u and enjoy our chat below:

Jane Maffey & Liz Clifton Interview

Jane Maffey
Retired social worker and currently working as a Temple Spa Life Consultant.

Contact her here and make sure to mention the take34u Self Care Series when you do:  https://www.facebook.com/janemtemplespa/

Jane Maffey & Liz Clifton Interview Transcription:

Liz Clifton: Okay. And welcome to the amazing Jane Maffey. She is a retired social worker and, previously taught  social work also, she is now a Temple Spa Life Consultant. Welcome.  

Jane Maffey: Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here.  

Liz Clifton: Thank you so much. It's taken us a few minutes to actually get here in the interview. So thank you for sharing your time with us I greatly appreciate it.  

Jane Maffey: It's a pleasure.  

Liz Clifton: Okay. Say first question. What does self-care mean to you?  

Jane Maffey: Self care means looking after myself, recognizing that there are times when I have to put myself first and before others, and taking enjoyment out of life.  

Liz Clifton: That speaks to fo and say, thinking back to self care over, your whole life, how has your self care changed?  

Jane Maffey: It happens now!  I guess, something sort of in my early or late teens, early twenties, I rarely thought about it. I just got on with life. I think then having two children, became, they became the focus of my life, came with my children, my husband, the house, the home environment. And generally didn't think a lot again about self care and enjoyed a night out with the girls, a break. But didn't really think about it. And I think it was only as they became teenagers that I found that the demands of life, meant that I did need to do something for myself and take that and that was when I started going to a Tai Chi class. And very adamant that, that was my night and nothing was going to stop me. It didn't matter who wanted to lift whatever or what that was my night out.  

Jane Maffey: And that's what I did. and I kind of grew and developed. So Tai Chi both physically, mentally, emotionally.  And recognize it, that, that did have a place in my life. And where did I go from there I've always had an interest in, alternative therapies. So, aromatherapy, reflexology, it just always, always been interested, crystals, and, and did a lot of self work, around kind of visualization and things. But didn't really connect with other people at the time. It was a very kind of solitary, pursuit if you like. And I think it's only kind of as I'd retire about when I retired. And shortly afterwards I was kind of in a bit of a, a crisis. I expect it's always change, always occurs when there's a crisis, doesn't it. And that was the point at which, I very, very fortunately met Dr  Bridget.  And, I then went on to, partake in the NLP Practitioner course, learnt an awful lot, changed an awful lot. And recognizing that, although I was, the work I do with Temple Spa, there's a very heavy focus on relaxation, self-care empowerment and feeling good about yourself. And I get a lot of pleasure from bringing people together, particularly women, to help them make the most of their skin. I do relaxation rituals with them during the class. And it's absolutely wonderful to see them come to a class feeling like, Ooh, what's going on, to see them calm and soothe and relax and enjoy themselves. So I get an awful lot for myself out of that. But I think it hadn't realized that I have been neglecting myself for my own self-care so now we're pushing all that back into place. Okay.  

Liz Clifton: I love that. So what, are some of your favorite, self care for you at the moment?  

Jane Maffey: At the moment, I have, doing some meditations there's visualisations. I've been taking time out to, work on my own, personal development. and I have, go to a networking group. Each there's denied, described as a networking group, but it's an extremely supportive inquisitive group that keeps me thinking. And, I found a lot of support and inspiration from the group. From people who, when I said before that I hadn't connected with people and it was a solitary pursuit, actually connecting with people who have got sort of the same thinking and philosophies has been wonderful. And, and that really has helped. So although it's self, self-care and being with people has actually really helped develop that. And so, yeah, that's, if I miss a week, I do feel like I've lost out on something. And, other self care, it is kind of, doing things for myself. And I never sort of throughout my working life, all my earnings, my money's gone to my family or the home. So over this last year in locked down, half spent quite a bit of money on myself, including buying a hot tub, working on the garden. So it's now I've got a lovely garden. It's nice place to relax and sit and at the hot tub just helps me. You can't read in there, you can't do anything. So you just have to sit and enjoy it. Which is wonderful. So that is, my favorite method at the moment.  

Liz Clifton: Oh, I love it. Yeah, that sounds beautiful. So when you think about, when you first came at self-care for your self. If you were to advise someone who was starting self care and then very fast time, where would you suggest they begin?  

Jane Maffey: with a little bit of time for themselves when I think back to when I was first introduced to Temple Spa about products. I think that was one of the times when I realized that I never took time for myself. My skin felt absolutely amazing afterwards. So I, when I got products, I thought, right, that's it, every Sunday night, I'm going to take the time to do a facial, put a mask on. And how that 20 minutes, half an hour to herself. And again, it was a struggle to begin with because the bathroom door would be people knocking on the bathroom door come would be can I come in. I want a bath, kind of do this, kind of do that, but gradually it was accepted that that's what mum did on Sunday night. Let's go lock the bathroom door and, and have yourself a nice little facial.  

Jane Maffey: and as the, as you get the benefits of doing that and how relaxed you feel, I think that encourages you to want to do a little bit more. And so I think best advice I can give to anybody is just start. Take 10 minutes and sit in the garden, look around.  Go for a walk for 10 minutes or lock yourself in the bathroom for 10 minutes or come to one of my Temple Spa classes. And the first thing I usually do in that is use an eye lotion. We put the iPods on tilt our heads back and just be quiet for a few minutes. And sometimes I do a nice guided visualization while that song, so it just gives people that timeout take some deep breaths and relaxes and them to enjoy the rest of the experience. So if it's anything just to start, take five minutes, then 10 and a bit longer and a bit longer.  

Liz Clifton: Yeah. I love it. And I think you know it's the same as any other practice, everything we want to get better at you just begin. Tiny step to begin with. With the, with your Thai tea. Do you still practice that for like physical or?  

Jane Maffey: I, I haven't practiced Tai-Chi for quite some time. I still and use the principles in my life. But my, my teacher kind of stopped teaching, and he had quite a unique approach to it. And he approached it from a healing perspective. and I've never been able to find another teacher who does quite the same. But I do miss that and still, it's been a long time. I do pilates regularly now.  Which is some of the principles are the same. so it fits in very nicely. But I have more recently been reminded that how much I enjoyed it. And so I've connected online with, with, group. And  I'm exploring the possibility of doing something online. Or, joining, an event for a few days or so I'm exploring those possibilities now.  

Liz Clifton: Wooop self care!  

Jane Maffey: Yeah. Yes. That's. I love that.  

Liz Clifton: So you mentioned about the principles of Tai Chi and that you still kind of live with them now. Do you find that, for my self-care perspective, you check in with yourself, like mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually?  

Jane Maffey: yeah. Yes, I do. I, I still, I mean, plotty starts off with a standing stance. And we used to use that in Tai Chi to check down physically, whether there were any blockages of energy. so I do incorporate that into my artist practice when I'm doing that. I also use it if, if I'm feeling achy or, hurt in some way, there's usually a reason. So I do, I don't use you start to check out physically. I, when I'm doing a Temple Spa class, if we're doing a hand thing, I do a little hand massage, which again is the Thai Chi massage. So it's encouraging the energy, and, and relaxation, but yeah, I've, I've recently it's been coming back a lot more as I've been thinking about it and wondering what to do, I've thought. Yeah, I've really enjoyed doing that. Why don't I, so have started to incorporate that into my daily practice.  Yeah, so physically, definitely, mentally yes. And again, doing the, some of the exercises can help lift the mood, help with relaxation. Emotionally, no, I don't think I use that emotionally. I I'm, I'm all turned to, to the, the NLP and years in the unconscious, for that.  

Liz Clifton: Yeah. It all counts and, you know, it's what works for you, you know, what feels right for you in those moments.  

Jane Maffey: Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think underpinning all of these things, there are some common threads, and I, I think that common thread is, is energy. And even, you know, accessing in using the unconscious it's using your unconscious energy, it's using what's within you. And I think we've, we've all got the resources it's learning how to tap in and use them. I it's, it's interesting because it was when you did, a Reiki meditation with us, and that brought a lot of things. Why aren't I doing this? Why I used to do this granted doing it now. And, the only thing that I did not ask any questions, I wasn't looking for any answers.  And all I kept getting worse. You're not missing your third eye enough. So there were skills and resources there that are telling me I've got them. I need to bring them out and use them.  

Liz Clifton: Oooh I  love that. And I love that you said, you know, the Thai Chi has been coming to mind, you know, recently. So it's obviously, you know, it kind of being steered towards those things that you love. Because I think a huge part of self care is, like you said, at the beginning is joy is every day being enjoy. Yeah.  

Jane Maffey: Yeah. Let that inner child out.  

Liz Clifton: Yes we all get to go play.  

Jane Maffey: Yes, yes.  

Liz Clifton: Yeah. Yeah. I love that. And I think it is you know, like you said, the inner child. Because when we're young, we didn't have all of those societal expectations and pressures, you're just being, you know.  

Jane Maffey: Yeah. You don't think about it, do you, you just get on and do what you want to do.  

Liz Clifton: And then we grow up and then we have to go through a process to remember, to remember what we want to do. And to remember how to connect, you know. Who am I? What is that I actually enjoy? Cause yeah, certainly, you know, as you said like you spent so much time and energy looking after the children looking after the home and looking after your partner and obviously then working as well that actually we lose ourselves there.  

Jane Maffey: Yes. Yeah. You do. Yeah. I think I had totally lost myself. But it's been, it's been a lovely, interesting for you to finding myself again.  

Liz Clifton: Thank you. Okay. And yes, definitely. You know, were finding yourself and, you know, I think for me self-care, and self-love, they're very combined.  

Jane Maffey: Yes,  very much.  

Liz Clifton: So it's just finding that connection and then remembering how important you are that you do get to take care of yourself as you said.  

Jane Maffey: Yes. Yeah.  

Liz Clifton: So if you can share with me like a link or if you have a website, if people want to get in touch with you.  

Jane Maffey: Yes, I can do. And do you want me to say it or.  

Liz Clifton: Yeah.  

Jane Maffey: It's but anybody can find me on Facebook. Jane M Temple Spa. And so, yeah. message me, contact me. I'm happy to help with any skincare, happy to help. We do not only skin care classes or parties or pumper sessions, whatever you want to call it. We all do it. We also do a particular class, which is about wellness and, ways to, actually utilize our products that enhance some breathing techniques.  And little exercises that you can do within your working environment and, and keep you calm and cool throughout the day.  

Liz Clifton: And that sounds lovely.  

Jane Maffey: Yeah. And they don't take very long either have, before I locked down, we used to go into the workplace to do them, which was very nice. Just get half an hour. Some employers allowed them half an hour. Some made them do it in the lunch hour or after work. But, yeah, they inevitably cope back to work, feeling very calm, very chilled out, which causes great. So do, quite a lot of those during lockdown and done them virtually. And they do work really well. So we send the products out to people and you can just sit in your home or wherever and, do the, carry out the class. That's lovely. It just worked really well. 

Liz Clifton: Sounds lovely and certainly as you're, describing them, you know, there's an air of like relaxation. they feel as you're sort of remembering those, their sessions.  

Jane Maffey: Yes. Yes. They, they are that they are relaxing to do as well. so yeah, haven't nodded off during  one yet I've had customers fall asleep.  

Liz Clifton: Mean's you're doing a good job.  

Jane Maffey: So yeah. So for me, it is all about relaxation and enjoying it and having the experience of feeling the product, see what they do to your skin. And yeah, that's so lovely. A lovely thing to do.  

Liz Clifton: Sounds  lovely. And thank you so much for sharing your time with us today. I really appreciate that. 

Jane Maffey: That's absolutely fine. I've enjoyed talking with you Liz.  

Liz Clifton: Aw thank you. You too.