Thank you for joining me your host Liz Clifton and my wonderful take34u Self Care Series: Creating Calm Confidence Guest Wendy Lorenzo as we share selfcare secrets, top tips and stories of our experiences.

It's an absolute pleasure to support you with your own self-care journey as you take34u and enjoy our chat below:

Wendy Lorenzo & Liz Clifton Interview

Wendy Lorenzo
Content Creator and Transformation Coach she collects wisdom and shares it with you.

Connect with her here: www.instagram.com/wendyxlorenzo

Wendy Lorenzo & Liz Clifton Interview Transcription:
Liz Clifton: Hi and welcome it is my absolute great pleasure to welcome the wonderful Wendy. She is a Content Creator and Transformation Coach. Okay. She collects wisdom and shares it with you. Welcome Wendy.  

Wendy Lorenzo: Yes. Thank you Liz. Oh, I, so I love that introduction. Thank you so much. I'm excited to be here and just dive in and really just serve your audience.  

Liz Clifton: Woo.  Thank you so much for being here. Hey, get that energy in there.  

Wendy Lorenzo: Yeah!  

Liz Clifton: Aw beautiful lady. So what does self-care mean to you? 

Wendy Lorenzo: Ooh, great question. So beautiful. So self care to me, what that means is really tuning into yourself, like tuning into you and finding out what you need and acting from that place and giving yourself that. Yeah.  

Liz Clifton: Yeah.  I love it. And so how do you connect in with yourself, do you have a daily routine or does it vary?  

Wendy Lorenzo: Yeah, so great question. So how do I connect with myself every morning when I wake up, I take a moment to connect with myself. So initially when I wake up, I, my mind is very active. So I have two children and there's always so much to do, right. If you are mothers, you guys could probably relate, right. But just anybody in general, we have a lot going on in our lives constantly and constantly we're being thrown things. So it's it, it's normal that our minds wake up and they're active. Right. So what, what, when that happens to me, what I do is I take a moment and just tune in. So just listening to that voice, because the voice in my head will be like, Wendy, there's so much to do. You need me to go drop off your kids to school. You need to do this.  

Wendy Lorenzo: You need to clean up this time. You need to do an interview, you, whatever, whatever the day has in store for me. Right. I'm like, okay, okay. There's that voice There's that voice. Let me go ahead and grab my notebook. Right. And my pencil or my pen or whatever it is that day. And let me write everything that my mind is spilling, right Because there's a lot of energy behind that. And sometimes it can be like an overwhelming energy, like, oh my gosh, there's so much to do. So instead I just transfer that energy into paper. Right. I transfer that energy into paper, hold it here and then release that. And then come back to me. And say, okay, in this moment, what do I need?  

Wendy Lorenzo: And usually I do have a routine. So what I'll do is I'll take a moment to work out or meditate and pray. so that's what that looks like for me to tune in, right. Just to listen and be still, or move my body and whatever feels aligned for me, that day is what I follow. Then after that, I take a moment to get ready, groomed myself and just get ready for the day. But first I show up for me because I find that it's so important. First you have to show up for yourself so that you can show up for others. So that's, that's what I do. Yeah.  

Liz Clifton: I love it. And so you're taking, a good lot of your self care kind of in these fast moments of waking.  

Wendy Lorenzo: Yes, yes. Yeah. Self care. as I feel it doesn't have to be like this extravagant thing, right. It starts in the small moments, like how are you showing up for yourself on the daily? It can, it can be like that, just having a morning routine or in the afternoon, you know, dimming the lights, putting your tea, grabbing your book. And just being with yourself to take care of you. Because this, this whole being, this whole human that you are, is taking care of you throughout the day. So it's good to take care of it. Right.  

Liz Clifton: Yeah. It's so important. And so having that self-care time, how do you make sure that everyone around you knows that that is your time you're taking that. How do you protect that?  

Wendy Lorenzo: Yeah. That's, that's such a good question. Right. So I have tried different different strategies. Right. And I think one of the biggest thing was I tried to, I would wake up at seven in the morning and what would happen was that it was rushed. There was a lot of interruptions. So what I had to do that worked really well for me was waking up early. Waking up early at five in the morning. And that is something that was really difficult to do at the beginning, really difficult. But I knew that in the daytime, or midday or in the nighttime, it just wasn't working for me. It wasn't fitting my lifestyle. Right. So I was like, so I had to take a good look at like what can work. What is in my control right now. And that was the time that I woke up.  

Wendy Lorenzo: Right. So I committed myself to waking up at five in the morning. And as I mentioned, it was very difficult at the beginning. So it started with doing a mindset shift. Like, okay, what would it look like if I could wake up at five in the morning, what would it look like Right. And at first I was just visualizing. And just being with myself with that thought. An idea of like, what would it look like for me to wake up at five in the morning. And just imagining what that would look like, what would I be doing, right. Sometimes it would be working though. Well, at that point I got very specific. I wouldn't be working out. Right. And that's how it began. I would see myself working out and then that would set me up for the morning after that day. And sometimes I wouldn't make it at five in the morning. I'd wake up at six or I'd wake up at 5:45. But instead of being super harsh on myself, like, gosh, I didn't get, I didn't wake up at five in the morning. What happened instead was I offered myself a lot of compassion and grace. Like, okay, I didn't wake up at five in the morning today as I had committed myself. But you know what, I woke up earlier and that I'm going to grab onto that. So that means I can push myself a little bit more to make five in the morning happen. And that's just how it began. And that's how I set it up. And that's, that's kind of how I created my, my, my boundary, right. My, my boundary around the time that I wanted to protect and have for myself. Does that kinda answer your question? 

Liz Clifton: Yeah completely.  And it's beautiful actually, you know, it's great to do it to enable yourself to do everything. You already do it, it's bringing that clock forward.  

Wendy Lorenzo: Yes. A hundred percent. 

Liz Clifton: Yeah. And I completely resonate with how difficult that is in the beginning.  

Wendy Lorenzo: Okay. Do you have a routine as well Liz?  

Liz Clifton: Yeah. And again, it does vary a little bit. So, depending on how late I'm going to bed. Because obviously if I'm doing calls till like 11 half 11:00 PM waking up at five in the morning, I don't get enough sleep. So yeah. So it's finding the balance. If I do a late night, you know, to be able to serve people in a different sort of internationally, then I get to be kind to myself and still have enough sleep.  

Wendy Lorenzo: Yeah. Finding what works for you again, finding that balance, just how you beautifully said it. Right. What feels alive for you and what works for you. It's not about trying to do what other people tell you. That's what self care is, is like coming back to you and finding what does self care mean to you and what does that get to look like in your life. Yeah.  

Liz Clifton: Yeah. I love it. And like you said, it's unique. Everybody needs something a little bit different. And we get to tweak it and align it and realign it as we're moving, where we go in. Sometimes it gets to shift.  

Wendy Lorenzo: Right. That shift. Like it doesn't, it doesn't have to look a certain way per se. It gets to shift with you and your lifestyle.  

Liz Clifton: I love that. So when you do you find that time and you're taking those moments of self care for yourself, if anything arises, like you know when you're spilling from your mind, you get it down on paper. If there's anything that arises that you realize you get to get support from, do you have like a support network that you can now draw on?  

Wendy Lorenz: Yes. I love that you're tying that in because yes. I think it's so important that you find a community, right. Or a support network. I think as human beings, we're social, we're not meant to do things on our own. We're just not at least that has that in my experience that hasn't been the case. Right. And I have a community that I connect with. I actually have various that I connect with and whenever I find myself being harsh or judging myself for not having that self care per se. I lean in, I lean in like, Hey, I need support. Like, can you guys support me with this right now? There has been so much that has been going on in my life. And I find that I'm, I'm regressing. I find that I'm regressing and that's not my intention. My intention is to create these boundaries in my life so that I'm showing up for me first. And I, I and tapping into those communities. And what that looks like is just, I have a call every Tuesday with some of my, some of the beautiful ladies that I did transfer at transformational leadership with. And we meet up every single, every single Tuesday. We meet up every single Tuesday and just support one another to just make sure that we're accountable to what we say we're going to do. Right. Because that accountability is huge. So yes, I do lean into a community. Yeah. A hundred percent.  

Liz Clifton: Yeah. I love it.  Oh, and so, thinking back to self care of your whole self care journey. Can you remember where it began for you Like your first memories of self-care?  

Wendy Lorenzo: Oh yes. My first memory of self care, actually it's it's this is recent. This is recent Liz. I started creating a self-care routine this year. Prior to this year I was scattered and all over the place, all over the place. I couldn't, I, I couldn't properly take care of me because I was constantly taking care of other people. And it depleted me and I became a martyr. I became resentful. I, I, I felt like I didn't genuinely take care of the people that I loved, because of that, of that feeling of feeling resentful. Right. So I was like, something's got to change. Like I cannot be, I cannot be living like this anymore. I can't like, I can't come from the space of wanting to care for people. But on, on, in doing so I'm not taking care of myself and feeling like I'm depleted.  

Wendy Lorenzo: So it began this year. I set the intention of like, I'm going to take care of me. And you know, what, what that's gonna look like is I'm going to wake up at five in the morning, workout, meditate, and pray. And then after take a shower and get ready for the day, like do my eyeliner and put on my lipstick, do my eyebrows get dressed. Right. Because as moms that can easily fly out the window easily. Like you don't get dressed till you have somewhere to go. Or during the mid day, during the day, like, that's when you ideally get ready. And I was doing that and I was like, I can't do that. Or before you go to work. Right. And I started work like later in the day, so I wasn't getting ready until then. So for me, that was important. Like I need to show up for me. And that's what it looked like for me and everything started to shift then, because no matter what happened, I was ready for it. Yeah. So I hope that answers your question. Yeah.  

Liz Clifton: Yeah. Perfectly.  And I completely resonate, especially with that, you know, that getting up and that, getting dressed. We get just lost. It's the kids and it's the house and it's all these other millions and one things. And then it's lunch time and then like, you're still not dressed. 

Wendy Lorenzo: And then the day comes and what's the point, right. Yeah. What's the point? No, it's like that, that, that initial, like showing up for myself, started with the day. Like with the morning, no matter if I was going to be home. No matter if I was going to work that day. No matter if I just had one call that day, whatever that looked like, I was going to be ready for the date. And then after to get my kids ready, help them get ready for school and all that stuff. But I was ready. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.  

Liz Clifton: I love it. And even as you're sharing it, you know, I can feel your power, as you're saying, and I'm ready. You, I like in physically just getting ready you emotionally and mentally, spiritually, you are ready for whatever the day's going to give to you.  

Wendy Lorenzo: That's right. Because I took care of everything that I needed to take care of. That was my physical body, my spiritual body. Right. My external body, which is almost the same as physical, but just like really grounding myself. I think that's what self care is all about. Right. Grounding yourself in your center. What's important to you. How do you want to carry yourself throughout the day. Yeah.  

Liz Clifton: Yeah. That's beautiful. So  thinking, cause obviously you've created your self care routine and that is an amazing feat with celebrating. How do you celebrate yourself?  

Wendy Lorenzo: How do I celebrate myself? That is a great question. So I, there's a few ways that I do celebrate I'll touch on this one. So I, as you mentioned, I have, as I mentioned recently, as we mentioned, I'm butchering my words now, but I have the, we haven't mentioned. I have this group, right, that I am accountable to. And in that, in that group, in that community, we celebrate our wins. What worked for us this week, what didn't and what can we learn from it. And we support each other. We celebrate with each other that's one way. And another is just tuning in every Friday. What worked, what didn't work? Right. What just like giving myself that space and that room for growth. To just reflect on what worked and what didn't work, no judgment, just what worked great. What didn't. Yeah. And that's how I celebrate myself. It's just acknowledging all the work that I do as a human being. and knowing that I allow myself to have a human experience. Right. Because we're human, we're not perfect. Right. And instead of judging myself and means so harsh towards myself, just allowing for me to have that experience of imperfection and just learning from it. So that's, that's how I celebrate myself. Yeah. 

Liz Clifton: Beautiful. And for someone who's coming to self-care for the very first time. How would you recommend that they begin What would the first step be?  

Wendy Lorenzo: I think that's a good question. Tuning in, I think tuning in, what does self-care mean to me and what do I want it to look like Right. Doing that inquiry, like coming in to yourself, knowing that you don't have to have it all figured out. Right. Or, or you don't have to have like this massive routine, no. Start off with, with baby steps. What do you want it to look like for you asking yourself that question. Yeah. What do you want self-care to look like for you? Yeah.  

Liz Clifton: It's a beautiful place to start and just acknowledging where you are at the beginning.  

Wendy Lorenzo: Yes. Yes. And, and yeah, I think you, you beautifully just said that acknowledging where you're at. Right. Because I find that often we just want to, we have this idea of where we want to be horizon and work. We're constantly fighting where we're at. Like our current reality. Like, no, I shouldn't be here. I should be there generating who knows what. Right. Creating this or XYZ, whatever, whatever it is for you. But there's this, there's this battle of like, I'm here right now, but that's where I want to be. And I don't want to be here right now. I should be right there. Right. And I think when you, when you have that expectation, I mean, it's good to have standards for your life great. But also knowing that if that was the case that you should be right there, then you would be there. Right. And if that was the case, it would be different and you'd be there. But since you're not, accepting where you're at. Giving yourself permission to be where you're at while moving towards where you want to be. Right. It's in the journey, it's in the journey, it's in the process where all the juice, all the wisdom, all the growth is. And when you do get there, where you, where you're going, it's going to be so much more flavorful. Yeah.  

Liz Clifton: Yeah. I love that. And you're pulling in all the different senses in your descriptions. That's beautiful.  

Wendy Lorenzo: Yeah.  

Liz Clifton: And I, I think it's also, it's finding that joy and like he said, that acceptance and that grace for yourself exactly where you are now, because there's a reason you're here right now.  

Wendy Lorenzo: Yeah. Yeah. What's life. What's life inviting you to see, to, to grow into what's life, teaching you. Right. There's no point in finding your reality. It's just looking around. Okay. All right. This moment I can be at peace and I can still log what I want and work towards what I want. But in this moment I can give myself that peace.  

Liz Clifton: Yeah it's beautiful. Thank you so, so much. I hugely appreciate you sharing your words of wisdom here with us.  

Wendy Lorenzo: Of course, of course. And again, thank you. Thank you. Just for like, excuse me, giving the space and just allowing, allowing for us to have this conversation. Because it is important. It's important that people look after themselves. Like it's, it's time, it's time to take care of ourselves because we can only give so much, when we don't give to ourselves. Yeah.  

Liz Clifton: Yeah. And it is where the love starts. Isn't it You love yourself first. You heal yourself fast and then you can go ripple it out everywhere to everyone else.  

Wendy Lorenzo: Yes. You're more empowered to do so. Yeah.  

Liz Clifton: That's beautiful. was there anything else that you wanted to share with the audience at all?  

Wendy Lorenzo: Yeah, so I think the only thing is that just just know that you are life itself, right. Life beautifully expressed through you. You're here as like you get to honor that, right. And continue to let life flow through you throughout whatever creative endeavors or businesses you want to create. Right. To continue to have whatever's in your heart to express out, by removing everything that no longer serves you. And that could be through letting go of releasing overwhelm and creating a self care routine. Right. Or just taking care of you, but that you are that beautiful expression. And then you get to allow for it to continue to flow. So that's all, that's all just know that you matter. You matter and you get to, you get to take care of you.  

Liz Clifton: Oh, it's beautiful. Yes  you do. And we all matter. And yeah, we all get to be taken care of. And that begins again. We're taking care of ourselves.  

Wendy Lorenzo: Yeah. A hundred percent.  

Liz Clifton: I thank you so, so much beautiful lady.  

Wendy Lorenzo: Yes, of course. And if you guys would like to connect with me, follow me on Instagram. I am at Wendyxlorenzo, and you can follow my YouTube channel there too. I share stories, powerful stories of women, just overcoming, persevering, and really going after their dreams. So Liz, will put the show notes in the bottom below and thank you for having me. Thank you for having me. I really, I really enjoyed our conversation.  

Liz Clifton: Absolutely my pleasure as always to connect with you, superstar lady. Thank you.  

Wendy Lorenzo: Bye.